Pencils Make Me Depressed
by Ratt9
Summary: It seems like everything lately is making L depressed, so Light decides to see whether he can seduce the detective into losing the down attitude.


This was just ridiculous. L had been moping around in a laconic state for the past several days, and Light was getting absolutely sick of it. He needed to get working on the Kira case incredibly soon, or Light just might throttle him.

Sitting on the couch, L stared at a piece of paper, his face as blank as it was, making absolutely no move to actually do anything productive. Light had finally had enough of this.

"Ryuzaki," Light said, sternly, causing L to look up at him. Light picked a pencil up off the table. "I've been watching you do nothing at all for the past three days. I won't allow this any longer." Light shoved the pencil in front of L's face. "Take the pencil and start writing notes or observations or _something_! Anything is better than just sitting there!"

L looked at the pencil in front of him for a long time, his eyes dopey and his expression unbelievably sad.

With a woeful tone in his voice, he muttered, "Pencils make me depressed."

Light opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again, clearly for lack of knowing what to say. His face was red with anger that he was trying his hardest to keep under control.

"Pencils make you depressed," Light repeated, disbelief evident in his tone.

"Yes, Light-kun. They make me very sad."

Light looked at the pencil in his hands, and then at Ryuzaki. Making up his mind, he flung the writing instrument at the detective. It bounced off of his head and landed right beside him on the couch.

Unfazed, L looked at it, continuing to watch it as though he expected it to suddenly move.

"It's still there," L sighed, pitifully.

Having had enough of this nonsense, Light grabbed L by the arm and yanked him to his feet. "Alright, Ryuzaki," Light said, absolutely seething, "we'll go downstairs and get you a pen. Then, you have to work. I'm tired of you doing nothing and expecting me to do everything."

Light all but physically dragged him downstairs, storming into the room in such a fashion that it caused everyone else in the room to look up from what they were doing.

"Light?" Soichiro asked, somewhat alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Light chose not to elaborate. "Ryuzaki needs a pen. Does anyone have one he can borrow?"

"Uh, sure. Here." Soichiro handed one to his son, his face the embodiment of confusion.

Light turned to L and pressed the pen into his hand.

"There. Here's a pen. Now, it's time to stop moping around and actually do something."

L blinked and examined the pen in his hand.

"Pens make me even more depressed."

Light couldn't even. He couldn't even.

"...You fucking bastard."

When L didn't respond, Light relented, officially desperate. "Okay. We'll go upstairs and get your laptop. Then you don't have to use any sort of writing instrument."

Having taken the elevator up to the floor on which their room was situated, Light pulled a somewhat unwilling L down the hallway. Suddenly, Light stopped walking, causing L to crash into him.

"Ryuzaki. When we get down to our room, are you going to say that your computer depresses you as well?"

L frowned. "I'm not sure. I haven't seen it yet."

Light clenched his fist. "What _won't _make you depressed?"

L shrugged. "I don't know. Everything depresses me lately."

Asshole. It was as though he were trying to make Light feel sorry for him. Like hell it would work. He was just being an ass.

Utterly enraged and not thinking things through, Light faced L straight on and growled, "What about this?" He smashed his lips against L's, forcefully. He made sure to take his time and work around L's mouth as best he could with his experienced lips before finally pulling away. "Does _that _depress you?"

L's reaction was minimal at best. He stared down at his toes before saying, his voice sadder than ever, "Light-kun depresses me most of all."

Light didn't know how to respond to that. He was blushing hard from both anger and embarrassment, and he was just about ready to allow his fist to feed L a piece of his mind. "You—" he started, but L interrupted.

"However," he said, thoughtfully, "perhaps Light-kun should kiss me again and see if it still depresses me."

Light stiffened.

"..."

Light had no words. He gave L a hard shove.

"You really _are _a pervert, you bastard."

"_I _am a pervert? Ah, but Light-kun seems to forget that he is the one who decided to kiss me first."

"You _asshole_."

Light wound up his fist, and that was warning enough for L to easily dodge the teen's attempt at socking him in the face. Instead, his hand slammed right into the wall, evoking a sharp hiss of pain.

"Dammit, Ryuzaki!"

"Actually, that wasn't my fault. Light-kun did that to himself." L reached over and took Light's swelling hand in his own, examining it. "You're injured," he said, as though it weren't obvious.

"No shit."

L ignored the comment as though it hadn't been said. "Perhaps Light-kun should have refrained from lashing out with violence."

"Perhaps you shouldn't have moved out of the way."

"But, had I not moved out of the way, Light-kun would have punched me in the face. I wouldn't want Light-kun to have to come out of this confrontation injured."

"I'm already injured, so you're stupid."

"Name-calling, Light-kun? Really, that is beneath you. Regardless, let's go get your hand bandaged. Light-kun being injured depresses me as well. It will make me happy to see to it that Light-kun is fixed up."

Light gave him a dirty glare. "So all it took for you to be happy is for me to be injured? That's telling."

"No more telling than Light-kun kissing me to find this out."

* * *

I haven't really been posting much as of late, because life has recently decided to start hating me and has been throwing large amounts of issues my way. It's been a rough few weeks, and thus, I haven't really had the inspiration to do much of anything, including writing. However, I do have a few things planned out, and I hope to return to my regular posting schedule soon. 

Anyway, this fic. It probably seems really random, and it is. It was actually Stormygio who came up with the general idea for it a while ago. I was acting unmotivated, and she told me to "pick up a pencil and write something." I, being someone who both hates and refuses to use pencils, replied honestly by saying that pencils make me depressed. Stormy thought that that was the most ridiculous thing ever, and we ended up coming up with this.

(Speaking of Stormy, she thought it would be a good idea for me to mention that we have now broken up, but that she will remain as my co-author.)

On that note, I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!

~Ratt Kazamata, 10/05/2012


End file.
